the pradhan mantri and money mantri of a nation called 'utopia' met on the sidelines of an important 'development' conference. here is how the conversation went...

pradan mantri (pm): hello money mantri
money mantri (mm): hello pradan mantriji.

pm: all are nowadays talking about global warming. i hate that term. why are they bugging us with that considering that we have so many 'development' things to do.
mm: that's right pm sir. i also dont understand.

pm: which is the ministry to deal with these kind of issues
mm: hmmmm.... i don't know.. is it our commerce ministry?

pm: no..no... mr.commerce-ji is busy opening up utopia for SEZ and as such he is doing a wonderful job. the amount of people displaced is far less than the crores and crores of rupee these positive 'development' will bring.
mm: you hit it right sir. it is not commerce...is it some environment kind of thing.

pm: haann....you are the man. it belongs probably to our environment ministry.
mm: do we have a ministry for environment...

pm: i think so...although i don't know the ministry name or who is in charge. can you call anybody in your home state as your colleagues occupy lot of ministries.
mm (using mobile and calls a politician in his home state): do you know the ministry name or who is in charge of something called environment.

regional politician (rp): hm..... i don't know..but i do know that superstar latest film sivaji is a wonderful action film....
mm (little annoyed): i know that TOO...but that ministry is something to do with trees...

rp: gotcha...it is something called moef..ministry of environment and forests..usually they give this as a dog's bone..meaning just to fill up our quota of ministers and also other parties do not want this chota ministry.

mm (cuts the phone thanking rp): pm-ji..it is moef - ministry of environment and forests.
pm (shrinking his face): do we have a ministry like that...very interesting and mysterious....

mm (smiling sheepishly): for past several years, my friends in my home state are occupying the post since we need to fill our quota of ministers...nah...and also i remember something called environment impact assessment (eia) which was blocking lot of projects and i think that eia was handled by moef...last year with help of our friends in industries we diluted that eia and made sure 'development' goes on smoothly...but i did not know something called moef is handling all these...

pm: coming back to the point, tell me what do we do to alleviate global warming...
mm: hmm....i dont know...may be we can dilute eia more so that more industries can come and we can make more money. of course this will involve little impact on our forests, environment, rivers, tribals...but tell me whether anybody can do anything in the world without impacting a little..hee....heee....

pm (nods approvingly): haan..haan...money is important and seldom does people realise that. but you should notice that there is pressure building on global warming on us and we need a platform on which we can stand and attack those who tell utopia to fall in line on this.
mm (thinking deeply): warming...global...heat....cool...water...rain...trees...forests....haaan-ji got it. we can plant tons of trees all across utopia....coin a slogan called green utopia and on this platform we can stand and bash up everybody...

pm: green utopia...gotcha...amazing line....we will plant millions of trees, allocate hundreds of crores...call our mega industries to participate, we will also farmers to relocate, tribals to get lost from forests, our forest staff to collaborate more with industries so that more land can be freed and more trees can be planted.....amazing idea....
mm: brilliant follow-up sir. i will immediately work on this to allocate funds..once green utopia comes in picture we will add the total money on the benefit of trees to our gdp figure also sir...

mm: one more thing sir.. i think we have to suck up moef ministry and fold it into either money ministry or commerce ministry...that little ministry is sucking up lot of funds and i don't see greenery anywhere in chennai when i go or to my village....
pm: that will be our part 2 of global warming platform....

pm: we should also call our favourite president mr.bush-ji and tell him about this idea.
mm: brilliant sir. we will do that...so that he can also plant lot of coal plants...err....green plants and benefit like we are going to get benefitted....


parallely in india, honorable prime minister launched green india program to counter climate change.